16.

Everyone says Valentine's Day is stupid, but I don't think that's how anybody really feels. Honest to God, I've decided that the only reason why people protest it is because it never turns out the way they want it to. Here I am, seventeen years old, in an intense hate only relationship with Valentine's Day, but I think that's because I've never had one before. At least, not in the sense of what everyone wants Valentine's Day to be. Maybe I never will. Perhaps a good Valentine's Day is as imaginary and fairy tale-like as my dream to become Sleeping Beauty. Oh well.

I've never been one of those girls who falls head over heels for a guy overnight. I've never been the type of girl in love with the idea of being in love, either. It takes a lot for me to admit to liking a boy, and perhaps that's how it should be. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, and while I used to keep my heart under lock and key in an impenetrable chest, I don't do that anymore either. Finally, I might have found an appropriate balance.

To date, there has only been one boy in the entire world who has ever been able to make me into a nervous, flustered individual. I can't figure out why this is, especially since it's something I'm just now experiencing for the first time, and I don't know how I feel about it yet. What is it that causes these intense nerves? I used to believe that people were simply exaggerating when they said they were nervous around whatever girl or guy possessed that ability over them. Now, I'm not sure how I could ever pass this off as being self-induced.

This is sort of just a stream of consciousness right now. I'm slightly medicated, and exceptionally unhealthy at the moment, so none of this is going to turn out how I want it to. Perhaps I should stop before I ramble too much. Perhaps I should try to write when I'm more alert.